First I want to say that I LOVE all of Pantley's "No-Cry" sleep/nap solution books! My son was born with severe hip dysplasia and GERD, and as such was not very comfortable the first year of his life. He spent that first year in a variety of orthotic devices including body casts (which are soo much fun in diapers let me tel you), had major surgery when he was only 12 weeks old, and the acid reflux made him choke and stop breathing, and of course made him very uncomfortable all of the time. For us, the hip dysplasia required his legs to be put into a frog-legged position that exacerbated the acid reflux. We couldn't use bouncy seats, swings, leave him in his carseat, use a highchair - even clothing didn't fit properly. What was good for the hips was contraindicated/bad for the acid reflux/GERD, and vice-versa!! It was such a frustrating time.
While sleeping has been a particular challenge for us, I am firmly not a CIO-type of mom and have always wanted our son to know we were there for him regardless of whether it was day or night. We have used many of her techniques and "stage-setting" ideas for both nighttime and naptime. Her books - the No Cry Sleep Solution, the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers, and the No Cry Nap Solution - have been a lifesaver for me. I believe that different things work for different families and different children within families, and one of the things I liked best about her books is that you acknowledge that and provide suggestions and actual real data!
A few weeks after my son's surgery, when he was about 4 months old, we used the techniques in The No-Cry Sleep Solution, and within 10 days our son - who was still recovering from the surgery and was in a body cast and sleeping on an acid reflux pillow system (from arpillow.com), was sleeping through the night. He never felt alone, was always attended to, and always gently fell back asleep.
Unfortunately for us, after he needed a cast change - and we had to wake him up to get him to the hospital and feed him at a particular time (he had to go back under general anesthesia) - he did not go back to sleeping through the night for us at that time. However, we continued to attend to his needs throughout the night as well as during the day, and today, at three years of age, he sleeps 10-11 hours a night, alone in his big boy bed!! This is after being with us, in our room (and often sleeping in our bed) for the first 2 3/4 years of his life!
Our transition to the big boy bed/big boy room was sooo easy and I firmly believe that what I learned from Elizabeth Pantley - which strongly reinforced my own thoughts and opinions - is a major reason why that is so. Our son knows he is safe and his needs will be met, so he doesn't get out of the bed "just because he can", he doesn't pine or whine for us unless he truly needs us. What a wonderful feeling of accomplishment - and satisfaction - for me as a mother, that my son has good nights' sleep! He is very verbal now, and I often ask him "how did you sleep honey?" and he replies - and this is thoughtfully, not just a knee-jerk reaction "I slept good Mama." Sometimes he even asks "How YOU sleep Mama?" (so sweet!) If I follow-up by asking him "Do you feel tired this morning?" he almost looks at me in shock and says "No!". (Of course some days he is tired and on those days I don't ask because I can tell and then I respond to him differently), but I love this. I have spent so much time and effort and worry and concern about my son's sleeping over the past three years and it is so wonderful to now see how he has grown into a child who can - and will - sleep comfortably, confidently - on his own! Of course he knows that the "big bed" (Mama and Daddy's bed) is always there for him if he really needs it, but he doesn't take advantage of that at all.
Elizabeth Pantley was the first person to explain to me about sleep cycles and how we sleep. I'm an educated person and even I didn't know this! By using suggestions from her books, we were able to - within a week - get our 12 month old son to take regular naps, which he has only given up recently (he just turned three). Literally, we took a week off work, employed your methods, and within 2-3 days our son was taking regular naps - even though he'd NEVER taken them before (not regularly). I have continued to use her techniques and advice and they have never failed us - we have had more sleep issues than some, and just because our son did have more trouble, I do not believe at all that to be a reflection on Pantley's books. Quite the opposite in fact - I believe her methods, suggestions, and her overall perspective - set the groundwork for what we now have - a very successful sleeper who sometimes still needs Mommy or Daddy at night!
Now, our three year old son is starting to give up naps, but he consolidated his sleep in the process. As her books state, citing research, that children need various amounts of sleep depending on their ages, but that there is a range of that. With her help I started paying attention to this, and realized that my son needs a bit less sleep than the average child his age - but she also accounts for that in her books too. He needed about 11 hours. He used to get those with 8 hours at night and a 3 hour nap. At about the age of 2 1/2 he started having more difficulty napping, but began sleeping longer than 8 hours at night. Now a new three year old, he mostly doesn't nap, but sleeps 10-11 hours SOLID a night.
At night, we have even seen him (on the monitor) wake up a bit, sit up in bed, and lay himself down and go right back to sleep (sometimes he sings a verse or two of his favorite song, which is adorable). On the occasions where he cannot get back to sleep right away, he might take as much as an hour to call for me. I call this a HUGE success! Our son over 95% of the time, who used to have sooo much trouble sleeping - now sleeps 10-11 hours a night, and does not immediately call for us if he wakes up. This means he has learned how to get himself back to sleep, and that we have helped him learn this gently. It also means that we have learned how to create a sleep-conducive environment for him that feels cozy and safe!! Elizabeth Pantley's books have equipped me with tools I didn't have, information of which I was unaware - and perhaps as important as anything else - a feeling that I am not alone in my opinions and beliefs regarding my child's sleeping. Can you imagine being exhausted and feeling like everyone is telling you to ignore your "mommy instincts" and let your child CIO? Oh my goodness, Pantley's book was a much-needed breath of fresh air!!
I give this book - and all three of her No-Cry sleep/nap books an enthusiastic 5 stars! I would give these 10 stars if I could!!
Thank you SO much to Elizabeth Pantley for writing these books. I just purchased her No-Cry Potty Training Solution book and am looking forward to what help you can provide me in helping my reluctant three year old little boy (when he is ready of course!)
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Lots of effecive and gentle methods, the best book by far!
As a new and first time mother I felt that many books were black and white and made me feel like if I didn't do it their way, I was doing it wrong. The No-Cry Sleep Solution reassured me if I needed to take a step back and try again later that was okay. I felt like it was a gentle approach and it gave me so many options! (ie) The Pantley Pull Off Method which helped me help my daughter fall asleep without needing the breast, a bottle or soother. I thought that was great! I truly do love this book. I is so simple and straight forward and I was able to use the various methods at different times of the day, and as my baby grew and changed. I always recommend this book to my friends that are expecting or have recently had a baby because it gives so many options that would work with many different family dynamics.
Top reviews from other countries
Jessica Farrell
Best method for me and bub
Reviewed in Australia on October 17, 2020E. Leung
A Must-Read for Parents who support gentle, guilt-free parenting
Reviewed in Canada on January 14, 2014